mIssIn9.yOu
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11:48 am

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

U know wat? i really really feel; like crushing him now.... I have done so much for him... things that are so important... Does he even realise? So wat if I receives gifts all the time? money is not the most important in a relationship! I cant even trust him now... He always go back on his words... gives mi all kinds of reasons... Dun even care about my feelings...

We have been together not more than 2 months... and he's treating mi like tat... lying to mi... its the most unforgivable thing... It makes mi feel so hurt... so painful...

All these make mi think... Is he still worthy of my love? Do i still wan to be with this guy?

I really dunno... A breakup is always painful... and its the last thing tat i wan... but when things are already at this extent... where i think he has make his frenz all think i am unreasonable... where i think he's a lying jerk... where we argue everyday... where talking to other frenz bring mi more joy? Do u think there will still be a way to mend things?

Yesterday, we had a big arguement... i juz cant forget how he make mi so sad yesterday... it start with him lying to mi about nt playing ball... then actually playing and i have to call abel to find out... it may sounds like no big deal... but i was at home... not knowing wats happening over him there... and i hate liers... somemore he's my bf! it was nothing to hide from mi... he could have tell mi honesty to meet later.... he din even reply my sms...

and we talk and talk and talk... he told me the reason he wanted to accompany them for that day was because of me... he dun wan them to feel that i so bad always dun let him go play... but u know wat? i have nv not allow him to go... never... its always his discision to meet mi... he says it himself yesterday too... so i dun understand why is it any of my fault? but anywaqy, since he managed to give mi such a sweet reason... i cant do anything except to believe him for once... he also say that after yesterday, he can come meet mi on time... cos he wun have to accompany them already... So he make it sound like everything was done for my sake...

wat a snake he is.... cos today... he did the same thing again... he nv told mi tat his school end late today... which result in mi skipping school for him... i din wan him to wait... it will be 5 hrs for him to wait if i went school... but ended up, he told mi he can only meet mi at 3.45... meaning i have to wait 3 hours and 45 min... do u think its possible? then i askk him to take cab... i'll pay first... and when i sms him while he was in school... he dun wan to sms mi... says he was busy... haha... i doubt it... last time, no matter how busy he can still sms... nvm... i say its ok... so he says will sms mi when he finishes school to let mi know... then ended up? he went to play bball again... wat happens to the things and reasons he had said yesterday? all bull shit... and i had to call and call and call to look for him... not knowing where he went again... ended up, i had to call abel again... i din wan to bother people also... tats not my style... but he always left mi with no choice... and tat juz prove that he's lying again...

if in juz 2 days i have found out how much he can lie... then how much exactly had he lied to mi? how many things am i kept in the dark?

Now, wat can i do? he's already a part of my life... do i wan a breakup? but things are so bad... do i wan to continue?