~Mi n NuN jUn~

3yrs and going on!

2008-01-09T14:31:00.000+08:00

To everyone who thought we will break up in a couple of months last time, well, eat your words! haha... Its been 3 yrs. Long time or not?

Seriously to me its like very long... and within this period of time I feel like i've changed alot... I have no ideaif its good or bad, but inside me I know I am different... maybe some parts are still the same, but somethings I feel now is different.

I think he must have changed too. Just that he don't normally show his emotions. I admire the way he can be so simple... take things in stride... with him there is no pressure...

I know he is a great guy... but why do I feel something is missing, or maybe different from last time... I wish he feels it too... and will talk to me about it... Maybe he feels it but he is just trying to change it using action instead of talking... I should appreciate it....

Mentally I am so stress up recently... Wanna have a shoulder to lean on... or a person to escape with me to another place... even if just for a while.

I don't wanna leave you behind dear... but I really scare that I am drifting further and further from you.... I need that kind of very close feeling that we once had....

We understand each other so much... and accept things about each other... so can we find the feeling back?

Really love and misses you....

My dear and Me

2007-12-30T20:35:00.000+08:00

Dear and I quarrel again... Recently many things happened... mostly my faults... And I am happy he gave me another chance... But I am damn sad now cos' I feel he dun care...

I was upset at the way he did things last night... and damn stress recently... so i dunno why I cried... but he totally never care...

I feel so sad... At least can ask me wats wrong... but he never...

In the end he left me alone and he go home...

Dear...

So many things le you still cant learn? Do you know what i need? I need to talk bout things... need to feel closer to you than anyone else... only then i can feel love...

I dunno will you look for me... but you know if you try... i will appreciate... I really wanna talk...

Miss you dear...

Wanna be Nearer

2007-11-03T05:12:00.000+08:00

After I told Jian Feng we can only be just friends ever... I have been frocusing on you, my dear dear... Dunno you can sense it anot? Hope u can...

Actually I know for quite some time we have been distant. Not as close as last time. Although last time was quite sad... full of quarrels... but at least I can sense that we care so much, that my heart is full of u... I miss that kind of feeling...

I believe we will get that feeling back... just need effort... so many guys around me... I know its hard on you... and I know I care too much for JF and you actually feel kind of unhappy... Sorry... I can be honest that until now I still do care alot for him and I still close with him... but don't worry cos' I am very very sure I won't do wrong things... Haha... We are just very gd friends even though he likes me...

Slowly and slowly I will not care so much... but sometimes I think to me I will always care for him... hope you don't mind... But even now we quarrel... I will not let it be too often... and both me n him trying not waste time when going out too... cos' we also wanna have fun more than quarrel... :p If once in a while we fight... hope you can don't mind and instead can console me... sometimes I will hu shi luan xiang a bit... haha... want a gd hug from you!

And I feel that after last week, I am closer to you le... Love sleeping beside you... I really hope my health is ok... dun want you all to worry... hope we get more time to talk too... long time no long chatting sessions... its helps understanding each other...

I going genting tomorrow night... I really hope to enjoy there... but I also know I will think of you... Hope you do the same... I love seeing you happy n laughing with friends... but I need to know that you are missing me too...

And, Happy 2yrs n 10mths!! So long le... does it makes you feel anything every 3rd? Don't you feel a very special kind of feeling that I cant even describe? I do... and I really love you...

Hope our love will be more passionate than ever, and hope we will have a good road in front!

After A Very Long Time

2007-10-27T05:29:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time... 2 of us were silly little kids... in love yet don't know how to love...

2 yrs 9 mths later...

I realised so many things that I have done and reacted to are silly... And I realised how much I care about our things at that time... :) Boy do I love him.... Lots n lots...

I had been so bad, so not understanding... Sorry! my dear dear...

Really hope now you still love me as much... or even more... Haha... we can go back to last time tat passion and emotions, but this time with a lot more understanding.... I believe we can...

Fairy tale always has a happily-ever-after... So my silly prince n Princessron will be happily forever right? Our fairy tale shall never end! yay! haha...

now our lives are so much different from last time... but most important is we are both happy!

And I am glad my bf is you... I am lucky to have a guy who treasures friends as much as me treasure friends! n best of all, our friends are the same! haha...

Things are complicated with me... so sorry... but it's exciting right? hehe :p

Ok la... wanna sign off saying...

I love You, dear dear!

~ We may Be bReaKing uP ~

2005-07-07T17:29:00.000+08:00

ok... i have no idea where to begin at all.... its like things are flooding on my mind, and i juz feel so stress.... i dun even know if its cos of the relationship anot....

after so long of being together.... 6 mths to be exact, so many thing s have changed... ahve happened... at many times, i wonder if i still like him.... if this is what i wan.... but we both have stay... like how some people stay on jobs they dun even know why.... we both have stay.... until 6 mths....

6mths leh... its not very long, but its long..... at least for someone like mi.... its my longest relationship so far.... but now things are juz too hard to mend....

we had another fight the other day... its getting so frequent... and so tiring.... i no longer feel like i'm being love.... or in love.... i feel like i'm struggling... to keep us floating.... and i feel really sad.... why? i ask myself ten thousand.... a million times.... why? i put my best for this relationship.... i cared..... and we had started off with so much laughters.... and now? all i get is silence at the other end of the phone.... all i get is a guy who doesnt treasure mi... who perhaps dun even care if i leave him...

when there's problems.... he will nv be the one approaching it.... he hangs his phone, keeps quiet... or simply refuses to talk bout it.... how can i keep a relationship like this going? when we go out... alone or with a friend... things are also so much different.... we are not like last time... not as close.... we dun always hold hands.... and even when we do.... it feels fake... i feel like his heart is not there.... when we watch movie.... we are quiet.... we dun talk.... we dun laugh... like before.... we dun behave like wat couples will.... and we are not even like we used to be before we like each other.... now, evrything is wrong.....

i feel terrible... its like i'm watching my love fading away before mi.... slowly dying away.... when i look at him now... i feel a heartache.... its like wat we used to have, its gone... maybe long gone...

we promised to give each other time... 1 and 1/2 weeks time... without any contact.... to see how... tat means to break or not.... even as i think of it... i feel like crying.... but at the same time i only feel like crying on his shoulders..... i miss the good old days.....

i dun wish for us to break.... but i dun wan a fake relationship anymore... i wan to feel happy... i wan to feel loved by someone i loved.... i dun wan to love without feeling its worth it anymore... so wat will be the outcome? we promised to let each other think... but after 2 days of thinking... i feel exactly the same.... ii wan a better relationship.... i wan him to changed... i wan him to realise wats wrong all these while.... but a large part of mi know that i'm asking for too much.... that its nearly impossible.... so wat will be the outcome? i really dunno.... i feel like knowing wats in his mind now... i dun wan to waste my time anymore....

~i REaLisE t@t I love moi FAmily..... they're so great...~

2005-05-13T14:36:00.000+08:00

Alot of things have happened recently... After all our arguements and fights... all the talk about breaking up, finally everything seems to settle down... Who knows, juz when evrything is going great, and we have been having fun the whole week.... something stupid had to happen again....

This time round its not mi and its not him.... see? tats wat i mean by veri stupid la... its a stupid "lao bu si" ah ma of his.... haha... i know... i sound veri bad rite? but well, if it were to be any one else in my position, it will be the same.... Anyway, that stupid ah ma starts insulting my family, insulting my, saying I'm loose and sleep with Nun Jun.... it's totally crazy! Ya... I did stay over.... but so wat? sometimes its not just mi... and i stay over at so many other people's house before! she is crazy to say tat when we were juz in the living room.... And, I am still so burning mad when i think bout it... does she know what is call KPO, and rude? and we ended up fighting, and well.... i hit her hard... with the biggest strength i had.... it still din feel good enough, and even till now, i still think tat i had to make her pay for it! Mmm.... maybe the easier way is to get Nun Jun by my side, and cut off any contact with them... they are going to lose their only son....
i sound real vicious i know.... but u know the saying? never offend a woman... and now ii know why.... haha.... we are real cruel when we wan to.... haha....

Well, i swear tat this's not the end of it.... maybe someday, if i have the chance, i will get back at her.... and i swear, it will be soon....

Besides all nun jun and ii need, is my family, my side.... when he comes over, they treat him so good.... take care of him when he sick.... all these i am not blind to it.... and i make sure he sees it too.... And his family will not get anything good from him since they are so mean....

I will see that wat i wan happens and they will be regretting that they ever offended mi.... wahaha~

~HAve beEn tHinKinG~

2005-04-30T11:45:00.000+08:00

I dunno why....
but these few days I have been trying to relax.... take my mind off things between us.... but something seems to be telling mi to talk to him myself.... and when i told Jia xin... she also advises mi to face up to it and talk to him....

well... I'm still angry over that day.... who wun? but maybe both parties hiding away wun help... I have no idea what i should say to him.... but maybe we need to talk....

wat he has done.... he is avoiding it all... he juz pretends to be tired all the time... sleeping as an escape... but i know that wun make things better....

maybe its a small thing.... but i think there are some issues over here taht needs to be settle... honestly... i really dun like to wait for things to happen....

Sigh... so i think i have to talk to him no matter wat...

~A little Time... Apart.~

2005-04-28T23:36:00.000+08:00

Sigh...
despite so many arguements and talking things through... and making up... we had a fight again.

Today, everything was going well... and we had intended to meet after his school, but when i called him, we changed plans to going for movie with our friends. Honestly, I dun mind going... and I did not pick a fight at all... however, when I just wanted to talk a while more on the phone, he dun wan... maybe he really thinks its nt good cos its Guo xiong's hp... but he was wrong... we had talk less then 30 mins, and I had enough reason not to hang up yet, cos i still have to wait for them for so long... Moreover, guo xiong later told me, he wun mind and he will only jokingly tease him tats all... he was the one who pick a fuss over nothing...

B'cos we argue, he turned so irresonable... at first he wanted to come to my house to pick mi up, which i think is fairly right since i will be kinda sian travelling so far... and he offered it himself... who knows, suddenly he changed his mind and said that he will only wait for mi at the Batok interchange... I was so pissed off! Really man.... this time round, I think I've got no wrong... So, i refused... and we argued and argued.... eventually, i gave way and said i will go to interchange, BUT he shall pay for my bus fare... haha... it was purposely on my part la... but i was pissed off, and he need to give way a bit too... but he turned more JERK... he said that he will not, and he will not even pay for my movie... and he ended up going to woodlands on his own...

he was already at Batok, but he purposely went back to woodlands without me! that, I can say, is definately unacceptable, and BAD.... but i still "ren"...
I went to woodlands, for guo xiong they all's sake.... i din wan to be seen as a person who go back on my words times and times.... if they had any misunderstanding of mi, it's time to stop....
so, i was on my way, and he called mi.... and he scolded me on the phone.... of cos i scolded him back.... and ended up he said he will not be there already, and he left.... So, when i reached, i was left alone cos the rest will meet mi later... and he purposely left mi alone, and did not care about mi or my feelings at all....

All these, are ENOUGH. I had enough... I dun wan to carry this burden anymore, and I dun wan to make silly efforts anymore.... i feel that these days that passed, i had put in enough effort.... wat i iwan, is not this....
And after talking to my friend Pauline.... she told mi to believe in GOD... and I decided to .... Sigh... of cos i still feel sad and angry.... but i think, its no use that i do anything.... let god decide...
so, we din contact tonight, and maybe for a long long time, we wun...
from now on, i need to focus on my life, and my own happiness...
I'll let GOD carry this burden for me, and I have to believe la.... GOD will show me a clear sign if things will work out.... Amen.

~After So00 Long~

2005-04-17T03:47:00.000+08:00

in an blink of moi eye...

Haha... just trying to have a more creative starting.... haha... 3 months plus plus have passed for us... for this full of ups and even more downs relationship.... And boy.... am i filled with lots of thoughts....

Finally I've graduated from Mass Com. It's going to be the damn good starting of my life, and i intend to live- the fullest.

With this thought in my mind, it actually caused BIG problems for mi and my faith for this realtionship... Wat started out as juz a try, giving Nun jun a chance... become serious, i think for the both of us... wat had once been juz a try to see how lo.. had become a serious thingy... i consider where he is going to fit in in my new life... and i think about whether my future can contain him. Yessss.... i know that I am a little bit practical and maybe a bit too realistic.... but we are in a real world.... everything, including happiness depends on money and career... And I had so many doubts bout him making it.... hahaha.... and i tot about ending it all..... giving this relationship up....

GOD knows.... at first, I tried to end it for s0ooo many times... I told him i need a break... i told him he will be more happy without me.... i told him i had no time to wait for him..... i told him that leaving him might be the only sensible thing to do... and I really can do it when i said it.... cos I had picture a life without him, and how happier I'll be.... then....

however, time and time again.... he pulled me back.... hold me close... and tell me that he will not give up, that it was that something called LOVE he felt for me... it's hard to describe... but when in the arms of a emotional and strong guy... hearing what i usually hear in movies.... it's hard to leave... only i can feel the heartbeat of him then... it was no kidding... only i can hear his sobs.... only i can see the intensity in his eyes at that moment.... i had to leave and i want to leave.... but his words and his hands that were holding me.... told me not to.... they were assuring... time and time, asking me to believe that things will happen like a fairy tale.... the happily-ever-after.... but i wonder, can that be our ending?

despite my doubts.... i had forgive him time and time again....

but yesterday.... the first time, he was the one who wanted to leave.... and he was so determined... perhaps, juz like how i was like once.... he throw away our pictures... and he told me it's over... OVER.... that really cut me in the heart.... i wanted to walk away when i heard that.... but i jus sat there... thinking... perhaps he will walk away anytime soon.... but he din. Despite saying all the breakup lines.... and walking away... he was still there when i loooked up.... why din he leave?

when i looked at him, he turned away... juz shouting very very very louudly... for me to leave.... i really almost walk away.... but i jus sat there.... and i tried one last time....

i told him to listen to me and solve it since he had finally let mi know what he felt.....

Quite suddenly...perhaps GOD's blessing? He calmed down, and he listened.... we had a few shouts still.... but i know, at that point, that we are not going to break for sure.... haha... a 100% sure....

we talked.... and talked.... very sorry to poor Rofino, who was there waiting for mi... but in the end, we made up... and it was the old stupid way... kiss and made up.... haha.... he apologised...

i still cant forgive or forget what came out of his mouth last night.... perhaps.... i will never forget forever... but at least i think i can forgive... haha... but that depends on him... he will have to made it up to mi alot alot for that.... haha....

after thinking for the whole of today.... i really decide that i will not tolerate a similar incident again.... if it has to happen a second time... the moment he says break, i will leave..... know why i had to write this down? hahaha..... it's to remind myself! haha....

And i take what had happen as a new start.... i will believe him more.... but he will have to treat me better... and save his lousy attitude for others....

And now, I've jus become a christian.... ahaha.... so I hope that GOD will lead me in my life lo... haha.... amen...

Well, enough for all these.... going to start work soon lo... haha.... i really hope to learn useful things from this job.... haha... and i hope to befriend more people in this line.... haha... maybe I'll befriend SLY too!! haha....

And one last note.... I am really really glad to have ROfino and Jia xin as my frenz... haha.... although i always 'bully' u all.... ask Xinz to cook .... ask Rof to wait.... haha... but actually I .........
love u guys de la.... haha.... muack~~

~Sharon_de_Princess~This's_my_life~Live_it~Cheers:)

~Stress... Problems... I'm Sad!!!

2005-02-25T11:48:00.000+08:00

Sigh...
I feel so sorry for my blog... when i first start it, it's supposed to be a happy one... but now, it's got more sad stuff than happy ones... It's that how our relationship is anyway

I'm so tired of making effort... of talking bout our problems... of feeling so lousy... I keep thinking... is this relationship good for mi at all?

I wrote him a note yesterday in school... i was all alone, and it was during my radio program... and well, the emotions just all come to mi... i was so so sad... i keep thinking of how we were... how we used to be... and i wonder if we had lost it all... and i know from past experience, that if something is lost, its hard to gain it back...

In the note that i wrote him... i mention lots of things between us... everything actually... and i gave it to him that night... he din response after reading... and i wonder wat to think bout that? but well, he told mi to wait... for the next day... i wonder why... but i dun wan to force him anyway...

Actually, that note seems so much like a breakup letter... i wun be surprised if he take it as tat... i wun be at all... Perhaps we had our happy times... and it's already enough...

Actually... i am so unsure of things now... and i feel like there's nothing i can do now... it's so frustrating...

Not to mention bout my recent life... sigh... no more pplay time for mi... everytime, I'm rushing projects... rushing here and there... and the only entertainment I've got is Tv... it's so sad...

All the stress... I really wish that at this time, he'll be there cheering mi up... and encouraging mi... i really wish that we'll be like last time when we talk for ages on the phone happily... and go out happily... that's wat make mi like him... care for him... but where is that now?

I need a change... big time...

I HATE HIM!!!!

2005-02-16T14:57:00.000+08:00

U know wat? i really really feel; like crushing him now.... I have done so much for him... things that are so important... Does he even realise? So wat if I receives gifts all the time? money is not the most important in a relationship! I cant even trust him now... He always go back on his words... gives mi all kinds of reasons... Dun even care about my feelings...

We have been together not more than 2 months... and he's treating mi like tat... lying to mi... its the most unforgivable thing... It makes mi feel so hurt... so painful...

All these make mi think... Is he still worthy of my love? Do i still wan to be with this guy?

I really dunno... A breakup is always painful... and its the last thing tat i wan... but when things are already at this extent... where i think he has make his frenz all think i am unreasonable... where i think he's a lying jerk... where we argue everyday... where talking to other frenz bring mi more joy? Do u think there will still be a way to mend things?

Yesterday, we had a big arguement... i juz cant forget how he make mi so sad yesterday... it start with him lying to mi about nt playing ball... then actually playing and i have to call abel to find out... it may sounds like no big deal... but i was at home... not knowing wats happening over him there... and i hate liers... somemore he's my bf! it was nothing to hide from mi... he could have tell mi honesty to meet later.... he din even reply my sms...

and we talk and talk and talk... he told me the reason he wanted to accompany them for that day was because of me... he dun wan them to feel that i so bad always dun let him go play... but u know wat? i have nv not allow him to go... never... its always his discision to meet mi... he says it himself yesterday too... so i dun understand why is it any of my fault? but anywaqy, since he managed to give mi such a sweet reason... i cant do anything except to believe him for once... he also say that after yesterday, he can come meet mi on time... cos he wun have to accompany them already... So he make it sound like everything was done for my sake...

wat a snake he is.... cos today... he did the same thing again... he nv told mi tat his school end late today... which result in mi skipping school for him... i din wan him to wait... it will be 5 hrs for him to wait if i went school... but ended up, he told mi he can only meet mi at 3.45... meaning i have to wait 3 hours and 45 min... do u think its possible? then i askk him to take cab... i'll pay first... and when i sms him while he was in school... he dun wan to sms mi... says he was busy... haha... i doubt it... last time, no matter how busy he can still sms... nvm... i say its ok... so he says will sms mi when he finishes school to let mi know... then ended up? he went to play bball again... wat happens to the things and reasons he had said yesterday? all bull shit... and i had to call and call and call to look for him... not knowing where he went again... ended up, i had to call abel again... i din wan to bother people also... tats not my style... but he always left mi with no choice... and tat juz prove that he's lying again...

if in juz 2 days i have found out how much he can lie... then how much exactly had he lied to mi? how many things am i kept in the dark?

Now, wat can i do? he's already a part of my life... do i wan a breakup? but things are so bad... do i wan to continue?

@_@GentingTrip??

2005-01-25T11:31:00.000+08:00

Like wat i say the other time, our 1 month is coming... 3rd of Feb... hehe... 1 month is a long time for me... haha, so its time to celebrate!!

He say he got something planned, and well... for once, i believe him la... haha... but actually i got something i wan to do on that day too!! i wan go Genting!! but if we are going, i am afraid that its a bit late to book...

Just hope that can go lo... if not, then we'll go on Valentine Day instead... actually tat sounds better... cos its a weekend, and then on 3rd feb can go facial leh... haha.... good plan huh?

but thinking back, maybe going on the 3rd is better leh... haha... cant make up my mind...

Well, hope this time really can go, cos last time i wan go with my bf, but failed... sigh... hope this time it will be different...

~A little stress bout Life recently~~

2005-01-24T11:14:00.000+08:00

Sian ah....
its my term break now... a whole 2 weeks... but still have to rush my Advertising project. and its SPSS!! in case you dunno wat that is, its the most irritating software to me, to enter data from surveys, then to analysis it... it should be a great help, but i forgot how to use it, and its giving mi a big headache now...

Then recently, life's just a little bored... dun be mistaken, nun jun... I'm not really blaming you... but its just tat its not much fun recently... and the only thing i can look forward to, is our little business thing... so dun disappoint mi....

its sometimes so boring that i miss the times whereby we have the whole group of friends out for a movie or wat together... thinking back, its been so many months since we had that... i wonder why... :(
i think i nv see them since the chalet le... except for Abel and Yuan Da...

Really hope Yuan Da leg can recover soon... maybe can go movies or wat together again... haha...

this friday, i die die also wan go play ball... its been more than 1 month!! think i still can play well? haha... but i am not too worried... think 1 month wun affect so much de la... haha...

gotta go rest a while now.... hungry too... :(

~Mmm... I remember...~

2005-01-18T17:10:00.000+08:00

Mmm...
today is recalling day!! haha...

Few days din update le... maybe cos I was afraid... cos everytimethings went well... I'm afraid that putting it down on words will somehow make it too real... and I'm afraid that will disappear...

haha... Dunno why i'll think like that too... But its really true that I'm afraid that by putting it down in words I'll lose it... really hope not this time...

That day at his house, he told me he loves me... hehe...

Not once not twice... but repeated times, continously, close to my ear, suddenly when we were watching tv...

*blush* Wat a warm and sweet feeling... haha... I wonder how he felt like when saying it... I din reply the same back the... i dunno why... but i remember a few days lata... I told him the same too. just as suddenly too...

*blush* well, I hope we'll hear it from each other even in a millions years time... from now, to a billion million years...

*blush* 3rd of Feb and Valentine coming... hope to make both of us happy on tat day...

~A long talk~

2005-01-18T16:53:00.000+08:00

Today, we had a long talk at PS there. Actually, he make mi very upset tat day, and tat day we were on the cab, and for the first time, i am so disappointed with him. Cos, when he saw mi being so upset, he din do anything... even till now, thinking bout it hurts...

We talk about wat went wrong, and wat we had mistaken about each of us... At first, it was hard to open up and listen to each other... and i keep thinking he's only trying to explain but not really listening to me.

We talk till so long, and so tired... one good thing is, we both calm down... or i should say i calm down a bit... And we went to shop and eat...

Haha... its so funny bout this part, cos we soon forgot why we were pissed with each other... and were enjoying the shopping and "crap talking" again... Most important, not only is it that i feel better, i sense him feel better too. And I'm glad...

That day, I bought so many undergarments... haha... so happy at night... and we are going to be better, i hope... hee...

~OuR MSN conversation~~

2005-01-13T05:18:00.000+08:00

on this day, I try to talk to him about it...

=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
oie what u doing now why so quite
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
lots of things to do at the same time...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
when i piss off...
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
why suddenly so many thing to do
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
wat were u thinking?
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
i also dun no why every time make u so piss off
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
ok...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
but wat goes on in ur head when i get angry/
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
?
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
huh?u ok for what
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
if its just making u frustrated...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
then next time i try not to show le
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
i just think to make u not so piss off lor
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
honestly?
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
so real 1 la but when u not belive me than i will be very piss off
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
sorry is real 1 dun have so
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
haha...
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
still dare to laught call me not to buff than still dun belive me...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
b'cos...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
u always take wat i scold u and turn it into reason...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
if people dun believe mi i also will angry...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
but if u are me... u will so easy trust tat person?
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
try to understand tat i amm human after all...
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
but i say all the thing is real 1 than u alway just say yays
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
if i am u i will belive la honesty
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
but can u understand my position? of feeling disappointed and sometime dun believe wat u say when it seems like another thing tat u sure wun do...
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
not i will not do is when i never say out than u tel me that than u think i will not do the thing...like just now i got plan to go to our wedsite but i never say out than u tel me than i say i i got plan to do but u dun belive me
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
sight
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
can there be at least sometimes tat b4 i ask, i see u do the thing le?
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
tat will proves to mi everything...
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
but i chat with u at the phone what if i go see i cannot do two thing at the same time lei...later i never heard what u say than make u angry so i never go see first lor
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
ok la..
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
even if we continue to say also no use...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
there will be a next time to see if u will auto go see wat i have write...
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
i also know u never see just now i dun want to say any more already
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
but u know why i care so much bout this thing?
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
i will autobut must see i can use the com a not what
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
to u its just a website...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
but to mi, its likie if u care bout how i feel, then u will wan to see this diary or wat...

-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
for me also not a wedsite what... i conform will see 1 if i can use the com what... of u got a sister like there than the com also is her want than if i call u to go see than u cannot go than i angry than u see how sad u can be...
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
sight
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
but u shold know if its cos u cannot use, i wun blame u...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
i AM not so bad lo...
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
nevemind la btw ok now already la
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
jus that got times can then dunno u will remember anot...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
ya...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
like i say, there will be a next time...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
prove it to me lo...
-=*Fujiwara Takuya*=- -=*[Haizzz... Now Must Wait Till 26 Jan To Unbandage The Knee, Very Pain Sia...]*=- says:
i will remenber 1 la...
mY_w0rLd_r0cKz! AnD I weLc0me U~ says:
dun get it wrong, i only wan u to see if u urself really wan to see....

and the conversation continues...

~Seeing him everyday, BUT....

2005-01-13T04:59:00.000+08:00

Wat should I do?

I dunno why recently both of us gets frustrated so easily... or is it jus mi? but he really sounds frustrated when talking to mi, tats a fact...

Well, i try to tolerate sometimes when he did stupid stuff... telling myself maybe he really dun get it...etc. But B'cos i'm such a straight forward person, I just cant seem to hide it from him or anyone else, when i not happy...

i tot actually tat is a good thing, to be able to be honest between us, and solve any problems we might have. I always believe tat a couple will go through problems and conflicts in order to grow stronger of their feelings...

The question now is, can this we survive this period?

~Its only been a week...

2005-01-12T04:02:00.000+08:00

Oh well. I haven been feeling good these few days...

I thought if things can stay the way it had been for that few days, when i feel happy and trust that this relationship to work, then it will be great. But appartently, things are not how i want it to be...

These few days, he has been giving mi attitude, and then not admitting it. Just now on the phone, he give mi the stupid attitude again. Making it sound like I am the one who always want to contact him. It's making me so frustrated!

when I call him while I was inn school cos he was supposed to come and meet mi, he answer the phone, with a "call mi for wat?(zhao wo zhou mo)?". Its like he not happy or wat, or like he not expecting my call. Next time he call mi i shall do the same to him man...

then its always me asking him tomorrow how? why? its like i am thinking of meeting him like usually, but he's thinking some other thing. if he's busy or dun wan meet mi, i will rather he say.

then in front of his frens, he have to make it sound like I cannot wait de... cos he said "you know she cannot wait de wat" to his frenz... make mi look like a idiot, and he nv think of wat others will think... wat others will think if we meet until so xin ku"...

today, he give mi attitude on phone again... next time i wun call him when i free la... i had thought that he will be happy to hear my call... but it's not so! i thought anyone should be happy to receive a call from their gf... but i sense nothing of happiness from him...

he gives me excuses of trying to learn how to plan for me, to make me happy last night when we argue... i wish that its true... but if its true, then why is there no change when we talk today? i am still upset...

alot of people may have misunderstand mi, but i need to know... its cos of wat?

anyway, seeing him now... i dunno how i will feel again... sigh...

I'll give You my Best and maybe tats the only thing I can give...

2005-01-10T01:47:00.000+08:00

After a few months, and i dunno how long or how short exactly... but we are finally together.

Nun jun and Sharon... Sharon and Nun Jun... haha... sounds quite nice... I set up this blog juz for us, our story (a short one actually), and everything that we go through together.

We become a couple on 3rd Jan this year. It was a deal tat we make with each other 2 months ago. If he manage to cut down weight, I'll accept him... But its dumb lah... I wun really do tat. But the thing is, during the 2 months things had changed. From maybe juz fooling around, and maybe not admitting what he feels for me, he suddenly let me know tat he likes mi, for real...

So i take my own time, to judge, and see what I'll feel for him. I told my gd frenz around me, but nobody knows who I should choose. Even I myself dunno for sure. All I know before I accept him, is that I already kind of like him. In fact, I told him once, and I cried for him before. But at some point of time, sometimes, I juz can't be sure if I like him. The feeling weaver...

On tat day, I dunno my answer still, so I told myself tat I will decide at the minute he ask me. I had decide to take things easy this time. Well, lucky for him... for me too, at tat moment I said "yes".

So, its been a few days... Although I can't its all smooth floating, but I'll give my best...

~~Dear, will you give your best too?~~